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Parents, you may think out loud, but keep the tone calm

You might have the best intentions at heart while explaining to children why their behaviour is wrong. But it may not always have the intended positive effect, if the tone is loud and abrupt

Verbal reasoning may have negative effects on children if it is not employed in a way that is developmentally appropriate for the child. Photo: iSTOCKPHOTO

Parents, take note! Explaining to your child why their behaviour is wrong may not always have the intended positive effect if the parent is loud and abrupt, a new study suggested.

The findings of the study were published in the journal International Journal of Behavioral Development. The study has been led by the University of Michigan.

The findings indicate both positive and negative outcomes that could have lasting consequences on children's emotional development. Verbal reasoning was associated with higher levels of getting along with others, but also with increased aggression and higher levels of distraction.

"Positive discipline does not always seem to have all that many positive benefits," says Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, professor of social work and lead author of the study.

"It is more likely that the long-term investments that parents make in children, such as spending time with them, letting them know they are loved, and listening to them, have more positive effects than nonviolent discipline. This has yet to be thoroughly researched in a global context," adds Grogan-Kaylor.

In the new study, researchers at U-M's Ann Arbor and Flint campuses analysed different forms of punishment associated with children's behaviours in a global sample of nearly 216,000 families from 62 countries. The data came from the United Nations Children's Fund Multiple Indicator Cluster Surveys.

The results confirmed that spanking was not associated with children getting along with their counterparts. It also led to increased aggression and distraction. For nonviolent discipline, which involved verbal reasoning and taking away privileges, mixed outcomes occurred, Grogan-Kaylor says.

Verbal reasoning did promote one positive result: Children were more prosocial with others, especially in countries where this discipline was more common. Surprisingly, verbal reasoning also increased aggression, likely in cases when the parents used harsh tones and language, the study suggested.

"Verbal reasoning may have negative effects on children if it is not employed in a way that is developmentally appropriate for the child to understand why their behaviour is inappropriate," Grogan-Kaylor says.

Meanwhile, children did not get along with other children and showed higher levels of aggression, and became distracted when parents took away privileges.

So what is the best way to discipline a child? Grogan-Kaylor suggests providing them structure, keeping the lines of communication open, and providing developmentally appropriate removal of privileges.

  • FIRST PUBLISHED
    02.02.2021 | 10:30 AM IST

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