In most relationships, especially partnerships of any kind, hearing phrases like "we need to talk", "you're smothering me", or “we need to take a break" can feel dreadful and scary. They mostly come up when there isn't enough space between two people. But how much personal space must we provide in our relationships?
Answering this query can be complicated. However, space may be a good thing in a relationship if your partner indicates they need some breathing room. It may even be ideal.
Why space is important
Each person's individuality in a relationship contributes to its growth and sustainability. Couples naturally tend to spend more time with one another over time relative to their time with friends or other members of their family, but savouring the bond might get difficult if they spend every waking hour together or if they make each of their days solely about the other.
Establishing limits with a partner is a crucial component of a good relationship. It's a solid indicator that you and your spouse spend too much time together if you're constantly worried about or lose confidence in your or your partner in another setting or social gathering.
Overall, having space offers emotional clarity, the chance to attend to our unique requirements, and a sense of individuality that we can all use. Choosing when you might require separation from one another is a crucial boundary that can be made in various ways.
Codependency check in relationships
Dependency on each other at all times, another thing that naturally occurs in most long term relationships, might cause constraints in such relationships. It’s always good to know that a partner has our back, but maintaining some sense of independence and self-reliance can go miles in feeding into one’s own confidence.
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Also, since we are all unique beings, having the freedom to pursue our interests makes us feel fulfilled. This can help keep the relationship healthy, with both partners staying with each other securely without slipping into codependency.
Other relationships and networks
It's always a good time to take a minute and evaluate your and partner’s relationship if it seems that you have disregarded the larger network of people who have always supported you—your friends and family—until you met your spouse.
Making time to foster one’s own, independent social and family relationships can help couples ease the pressure and expectations off from each other. Having healthy and meaningful relationships with one’s own folks can help you nurture your own powerful support systems. Remember, a romantic connection is only one component of your life; and it shouldn't come at the cost of all your other relationships.
Take some space, maintain your individuality. Your romantic relationships can only get better and happier when your originality is maintained.
Sheetal Shaparia is a Mumbai-based a lifestyle coach
