“Nothing forces you to face your demons like falling in love.” And it’s almost always worth it, says Emily Henry says in an interview just ahead of the release of her latest novel, Funny Story. She would know, having churned out a new bestselling romance read every year since 2020.
“You find out so much about yourself by how you react to the complicated feelings of falling in love, and that can lead into something very toxic and exhausting. But it also can lead into something so beautiful and life changing,” she says.
Henry elaborates about her journey to becoming a novelist, why people shouldn’t feel shame about reading romance and how her personal mental health journey influences her characters. She also dives into whether books are better than movies, with a few insights into the film adaptions of her books in the works. Edited excerpts:
You could try writing a book. That’s only halfway a joke, because I really do feel like Beach Read was the most meta thing I’d ever done. There’s a reason that most of my books have ended with one or both characters going to therapy. For a happy ending to be sustained, for a relationship to continue growing and changing, you probably need some help.
Also getting on medicine was huge for me. I thought I was doing more or less OK until I found out what it felt like to be OK.
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Because I’m in a steady, stable relationship, it’s really easy to romanticise those early phases. But then when I’m talking to my single friends, I’m like, “Oh yeah, it is hell.” I feel like I have such affection for that phase when you don’t know for sure how the other person feels. It’s like a feeling you don’t get from many other things in life.
Contemporary romance has tried to move toward something that’s a little bit more grounded and more realistic, with a focus on the health of a relationship and the positivity of it.
It’s interesting that it has been treated as a guilty pleasure for so long. There’s a wide variety of romance and erotica that leaves room for people to have their fantasies and that’s separate from the real world.
Try to enjoy writing before you publish, because it is really strange how much it changes once it belongs to the world. It’s sort of like you have to appreciate your single days if you’re trying to wind up in a serious partnership. It can be horrible and terrible, but when it’s fun, try to live that up, because that also is an experience you’re someday probably not going to have again.
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Primarily joy. I’m always trying to balance the joy of life and the pain of life. I want it to feel like this is the book you want to buy at the airport and read on the plane or on the beach.
Every book I do is taking the hardest parts of life and not trying to justify them, but trying to balance them against the best parts of life and leave the reader with the feeling that the hard shit that you’re going through is worth it for the experience of getting to love and be loved. Not necessarily romantically — any kind of love. You cannot love anyone without accepting that there’s a real chance of grief, whether that’s a breakup or a loss. They go hand in hand.